Our Mexican Son and Brother was written by WISDOM mom Laurie Lacy. David and Laurie Lacy are devout Christians. They live in Edmonton, and are active in WISDOM’s home school events.
Our family had a fabulous experience last summer when we opened our home for eight weeks to a young man from Mexico. Intercambio Internacional was started in the late 1950’s by Abbot Placid Reitmeier, a priest from Minnesota who was posted at a boys’ school in Mexico City. He had a dream of promoting cultural exchange, and began by sending Mexican children to his family in Minnesota. This was a great success, and after much research and planning on the part of Abbot Placid, Intercambio was born. From the beginning, host families and delegates(helpers at various localities in the U.S., Canada and Mexico) volunteered, and did not receive financial compensation for their involvement, to ensure that their motivation for being involved was genuinely to facilitate a cultural exchange and to provide hospitality for the young visitors. I note this to be very wise, due to my own personal experience as a homestay student on an unrelated program in Europe years ago where I suspect the prime motivation of my host family was payment they received for hosting me. They had little interest in extending hospitality or showing me their city. In a roundabout way, in my own mind, offering the best we could to Alex, the boy we hosted, within the constraints of our budget and our own family needs, atoned for my own less than ideal experience of years ago. At its height, Intercambio sent over 1,000 students per summer from Mexico, and several Central American countries to locations throughout the U.S. and Canada. Due to political difficulties and passport complications, students come only from Mexico to Canada or the U.S. in the summers now, either for six or eight weeks. Students from Panama or Costa Rica may come for 10 weeks in winter, but only to the U.S., again due to difficulties with visas/ passports.
Unfortunately, Abbot Placid passed away in 2000, though the organization continues on a smaller scale, overseen by two women in Mexico city that worked with Abbot Placid for 35+ years on the program, and by an office in Fargo, North Dakota, as well as the ongoing volunteer involvement of various volunteer delegates and host families. This past summer, only thirty some Mexican students traveled on the summer program. The families of the students must pay to send their children on the program(airfare and administration fees, including expenses of adult chaperones at airports and on some flights), so the majority of the students come from upper middle class Mexican families. One of the main reasons families send a child North is to improve their English. Facility in our language is seen as essential for young Mexicans to succeed, especially in this age of NAFTA. Students are interviewed before being accepted into the program, to ensure that they will be good ambassadors for Mexico.
Students range between 10 and 16 years of age. There was a fairly even split between boys and girls last summer. Host families are requested to have a child or children close in age to, and the same gender as the visiting student. While students must be given a bed to themselves, it is welcomed and encouraged for them to share a bedroom with a same sex child of the host family. In our case, Alex shared a room with our two eldest boys. It was tight quarters, but worked out just fine.
Our involvement as a host family came suddenly and unexpectedly. Home educating friends of ours hosted a boy on this program two years ago, and were contacted this past June with an urgent request to consider hosting again, since two of the boys scheduled to travel in mid-June on the program had yet to be placed in homes. Our friends were in the middle of a move so could not oblige, but asked us on June 15 if we would consider helping out with this last minute need. After short but intense family deliberation, we elected to assist by accepting Alex. We did receive information about him, his family and interests, and were told that his English was “good”. What really sold us on this boy was that he was due to celebrate his 13th birthday while here, on the day immediately before our eldest son would also turn 13; this was the boy for us! We exchanged emails with his family, and he arrived in the wee hours of June 19th.
Normally, a local volunteer delegate also visits the home prior to a placement(as would be the case with the other students), but a home visit was not possible for us, due to the closest delegate being in Rimbey, and the time constraints. Instead, phone interviews with us by the North Dakota office and the Rimbey delegate, and phone/ letter referrals by our friends who had previously hosted, and by our priest and a neighbor sufficed for the initial screening in our case. The Rimbey delegate contacted us a few times during the summer to ensure that the placement was satisfactory for us and for Alex, and we were able to call her or the helpful staff at the Fargo office at any time with questions we had. We were also asked to fill out an evaluation for the Mexican office after Alex’s departure.
Words cannot describe to you the extent to which welcoming Alex into our family and home this summer enriched our lives. We were so impressed with this well-mannered, intelligent, fun-loving and gracious young man who fit into our family (we have five children ranging from age 2-13) with much more ease than we expected. As Christians, we know we are called to radical hospitality, though at the outset, it was a big stretch for us to consider opening our home to a stranger for most of the summer. What we never anticipated was the extent to which Alex became so endeared to us all in such a relatively short time. We just thought it might be nice to help out, and that it might provide some interest for our children during what would otherwise have been a non-eventful summer. As is often the case with such arrangements, we suspect we got as much or more reward for our efforts at hospitality, than Alex got from being here. We gained good friends, admiration for and knowledge about another culture, and had a summer far more enjoyable than anticipated. Our children freely and joyfully shared their parents, their space, and their hearts with Alex. Radical hospitality came easily to them, and David and I as parents were in awe of their generosity of spirit.
Alex attended the Catholic Family Life Conference with us in July, and also a baseball camp with our children. Due to the fact that he had such a passion for soccer and was such an accomplished player, we received permission for him to assist coaching a local soccer camp as well, which he thoroughly enjoyed. The students are required to bring with them about $500 Cdn. to cover costs of their entry into such activities, museums etc, as well as spending money for a few souvenirs and gifts for their families, though they are cautioned that they are not here to be on a shopping excursion as a major focus. We also took Alex camping at a lake, and to Red Deer for a day. In early August, he accompanied David and our three eldest boys on a quick trip to Vancouver Island for a visit to David’s family. Of course, we took him to West Edmonton Mall Waterpark, Fort Edmonton, and a few local summer festivals. While such excursions are welcome on the program, it is certainly not required that the students be taken on any major trips to the mountains or otherwise. The primary focus is to get to know, love and respect a family from another country, and an opportunity to know themselves better and grow in maturity. Host families are asked to familiarize students with their host area and country in accordance with their own economic situation and time. I should note here that at no time did Alex ever visit a fancy restaurant or stay in a hotel with us, despite the scope of places and experiences we were able to share with him.
While the vast majority of Intercambio students are practicing Roman Catholics, there is no necessity that host families be likewise. If requested by the child’s family, the host family is asked to accompany the child to Sunday Mass. Many families choose to have the child merely attend with the host family at whatever church, if any, that might be. In our case, Alex’s family was relieved that we are Catholic and that he attended weekly Mass with us. For us, his Catholic status made it more comfortable to have him attend the Family Life Conference with us, and having our faith in common made much more tangible to all of us the gift of our universal Church. Even now, as I prepare a reading for Sunday Mass, it is uniting to think that Alex and his family will be hearing the same reading on the same Sunday, within an hour of us, so many miles away.
Intercambio is always seeking host families for Mexican students from mid-June or early July, to mid-August. The extent to which we found this to be a rewarding family and educational experience compels me to write, knowing that many fellow Wisdom families could benefit immeasurably as we did, and would be excellent host families for students. Another unanticipated benefit of our experience has been the lighting of an intense flame of motivation in all of us to learn Spanish, and to learn about Mexico. We purchased Rosetta Stone Spanish for the kids, and the three eldest have been enjoying working at it. Hosting an Intercambio student might well be one way for many other families to fuel excitement in their children at taking on a second language study, not to mention the desire to learn the geography, history and culture of another country.
Anyone wanting more information about the program can contact the Fargo, ND office toll free at 1-800-437-4170, or by email: intercambio@airfargo.com.
David and I would also be pleased to answer any questions about our experience; please send communication via the WISDOM office—we would be glad to return your phone calls and emails.