Are you beating your head against a wall? Is your thirteen year old impossible to teach? Is the curriculum that has worked so well in the past suddenly "boring?"
I recently spoke with a mother of many who, after completing an enjoyable unit study of reading and discussion on Holland, decided her fourteen year old son should follow-up this project with something concrete. She asked him to write an essay on the history of the development of the tulip industry - a topic they had all found to be interesting. As days of reluctance dragged into weeks of resistance, a normally affable mother-son relationship became outright antagonistic....
The fact that the student was still doodling away his time after a month of working on this assignment had his mother beside herself with frustration and a profound sense of failure. Finally, half-sarcastically, she exclaimed, "fine, write an essay about being a tulip!" (After all, he had spent a month doing little more than a tulip would.)
The light came into his eyes as the once-beleaguered youth caught his first glimmer of hope. Without hesitation he tackled this new angle on his assignment, and within hours was polishing his final draft.
As his mother passed the essay to me to read, she launched the questions: "Why should I have to struggle so long for nothing, just to have him suddenly produce such good work? Why couldn't he have done this in the first place? I'm really concerned about his attitude. Shouldn't he have to learn discipline?"
The essay he had written was in fact excellent. Normally, I would not voluntarily choose to read an essay on the history of Tulips in Holland, but I wanted to read this one a second time. Not only was it witty and original, but it taught me history in creative and entertaining ways, assisting my understanding and retention of details.
I may have answered the mother's question: "fine, this belligerent child has finally produced something he should have done a month ago, saving hours of frustration and hard feelings." However, I was struck by something deeper. Thank God this fourteen year old had the tenacity to dig in his heels and produce nothing for so long.
(Has Noster finally lost it?)
Let me explain.
The obedient child, especially one who is strongly motivated to please his parents, will dutifully complete all assignments to the level of proficiency demanded. This process teaches him some basic skills and knowledge, and it most likely forms him in the virtue of obedience (at least obedience in his exterior actions, if not in his heart). Such a student will try to complete a task even if it fails to teach him anything.
Compare this student to the one who digs in his heels and would rather suffer his mother's wrath than do something that seems to him a waste of time. I have battled this tendency in my own children, but frankly, this integrity on the part of the student (yes, integrity to truly learn, not just go through the motions) ultimately gives him a better education and makes the parent a better teacher.
Most students know inherently whether or not they are actually learning something at the time. If not, they tend to stall. Our job is to see the stall as an indication that the task in its present form is not serving education.
Any one of these four conditions is necessary before a student will learn effectively: 
- He has been given sufficient introduction to the subject/task to become interested in exploring/studying further.
- He is determined to achieve a goal, and he can see that it is necessary to learn the present skills/knowledge in order to achieve that goal.
- The task or learning at hand constitutes his passion. It is an area of interest that he would spend all his time on if you let him. (This is a useful condition, because we often can expand his area of interest into related tasks and knowledge.)
- The task at hand constitutes a challenge worthy of his time and effort; i.e.: he knows he will learn something.
It was this fourth condition that arrived after the first month of the tulip assignment. When the writer could tap his kinesthetic learning style (condition #3) and answer the challenge to write otherwise boring detail in an interesting way, the task became worthy of his effort.
In order to understand why a child is reacting as he is, it is often useful to look at how we function as adults. It is rare that we will waste our time on a task that doesn't fulfill one of the above four criteria. Even changing diapers fulfills #2 (if not #4).
To answer the tulip mother's question on discipline, I maintain that if we want to instill discipline in our children, we should do that with routines, responsibilities, and chores; not education.
A basic essential in training a horse is the knowledge that the horse wants to cooperate. When it is not cooperating, it is because the animal is getting confused or frightened, and disciplining it will not improve it in the long run. Similarly, as teachers we must begin with the belief that children want to learn. They like to learn. In fact they strive to learn, even when we get in the way. The Latin word schola means leisure devoted to learning. If the process of education is clearly not enjoyable or at least motivated, it is highly unlikely that the student will retain much even though he seems to be going through all the necessary steps. He is putting up with the present activity and can't wait to get done so he can get back to learning. Thank God for students who rather than dutifully humoring us, let us know when the conditions for learning aren't present.
Another cause for students to stall (or carry on in a half-hearted manner) is teaching in the wrong mode. Whether or not a parent believes in the structure of classical education, it exists. Children are designed by God to learn in different ways at different points in their maturity.
From birth to about 4, a child copies everything he sees and hears.
Between the ages of 5 and 11(more or less) he memorizes most effectively. In fact he is capable of enjoying memorizing. This is when we should have him memorize his letters, sounds, numbers, multiplication tables, spelling, scripture, poetry,... not all at once, but over those six years.
Between the ages of 12 and 14 (more or less) he develops his logic. He suddenly finds memorization of facts uninspiring, even boring. Whereas two years ago he consumed facts and loved workbooks, he now seems more interested in just reading or talking long after he should be in bed.
Much of his conversation will express ideas and values that he has read or heard, and he will be seeking adult perspective on these.
After about the age of 15, the student starts to be more secure with his own ideas and values and more open to making his views known. He can now be encouraged to write to politicians, to the local paper, and to people who might benefit from what he has come to understand. He can be encouraged to participate in public speaking, debate, or drama. He should be using his skills and knowledge and his compassion to serve others. Time should be spent in service. This is a time to write essays, novels, poetry, plays, short stories, even comic strips to develop his expression of what is true and good.
In essence, a growing child moves through the above stages whether or not we accommodate his development. For centuries, student learning has been organized this way. It is only in the past 70 years that our culture has begun to lose touch with the way we learn. Rare is the school that engages the junior high student in discussion and debate, and forms the high school student in written and verbal expression.
It seems to me that a big part of the problem lies in the school's need to justify education to the government. In order to demonstrate to the taxpayer that he is getting value for his money, schools must have something to show at the end of the day. How do you show the product of a good discussion? How do you quantify a debate once it is over? It is much easier to show that Johnny memorized the periodic table and regurgitated it for the exam. This sort of evidence can be put on a graph and reported to the legislature, even the media.
By contrast, the development of thinking skill and character is not easily reported. Consequently, schools have gone the route of teaching in the "memorization" mode (best applied to children age 5 to 11) for the entire twelve years of school. Long after students should be developing thinking skills, they are still memorizing facts and filling in blanks (and becoming bored).
The crime in all this is that we as home schoolers tend to fall into the same traps as the schools.
If your adolescent is no longer interested in education, try getting him to read some history, then discuss it with you. He can also be engaged in Theology, current moral issues, even Science. Try this one: I just found a small article in the Edmonton Journal titled: Company claims first-ever clone of a human embryo.
The Worcester company produced one cloned human embryo - perhaps the first ever made - and performed the unprecedented cross-species hybridization of a human cell and a cow egg.
Most students 12 and up are poised for this article. The student should find out all he can about the science involved in this event and at the same time search the scriptures and teaching of the Church regarding the inherent moral issues.
The primary activity for the 12 to 14 year old will be thorough discussion of what he has learned with his parents, gaining from their perspective and direction for further study.
The primary activity for the 15 to 18 year old will be writing to the government, the press and anyone else who needs to be informed. He should consider presenting his position to a youth group or his church community. He may do well to write a radio drama, or play, or story that clearly teaches the moral truths that are contravened by this biotechnology company.
Science is far bigger than memorizing facts, and truth be known, the facts will stick in your child's head like glue if those facts are pertinent to the issue he is studying. The key lies in approaching the new knowledge in the way the Lord has designed him to learn at his present stage in life.
It is time to admit that the "material" alone, as it is taught in schools is deficient for the development of adult minds. Ironically, any or all of that material could be put to use in a classical curriculum to enhance logic and expression. It clearly can not serve solely as memory work.
So listen to your child when he tells you (overtly or subtly) that he is not really learning anything right now. Watch your child, and see what he does with his free time. Try to discover means of applying at least one of the "four conditions for learning." Above all, please don't subject your adolescent to an "elementary school" education, meanwhile neglecting his most pertinent needs.
Finally, like the mother of the tulip, persevere: the answer to your question may be just around the next speed curve or over the next mountain. Trust God; the answers are worth waiting for.